10/8/11 Hesitation holds my hands immobile at the lack of planned direction. Taps from tips of fingers on keys, this new flow of script plays like a first piano lesson: slow, forced, and without rhythm. In mirrored manner, optimism reigns that persistence will unfold an inner melody of inspired fluid beauty. So let this page drip with drops of will until it’s flooded with my mind. High interest costs more than my time, as focus is lost and found again through the daily norms. The familiar push and pull of assumed obligation will race their space jets to regulation, but the finish is my end of the line. A lifelong game taught from a computer screen and forever imbedded in my brain. And now, I feel the frequency ensnare the thoughts that should have been, a bubbling purple theft from my conscious mind. With no chance of retrieval, the choice remains the same: Either give up and give in, or fight back with the force. But I’m no Jedi yet and I crave to be a Sith. Darth Lord Determination. For now I must sit in quiet practice and learn the ways of my brain.