9/25/17 – 11:39pm
I lay here, squished in by my dog, Leeloo, who’s attempting to lick my writing hand. Perhaps if it’s gentle I won’t notice? I’m wearing scrubs on top and a swim suit on the bottom while I wash and dry my clothes that I’ve been repetitively using since the 7th of September when, out of sticky despair(ation) I attempted to end my life by mixing an ungodly amount of pills and alcohol. Luckily, the alcohol made me vomit up the pills minutes later. It’s late at the moment; I’ve taken my prescribed amount of sleep meds and I should be resting for tomorrow’s PHP [Partial Hospitalization Program]. Yet for some reason this seems important to write. Perhaps it’s the mixing of my daytime meds and my sleepy time ones. I hope the latter succeeds over the former.
It seems unusually hot tonight in my bedroom in my grandma’s house. Or at very least I’m sweating more. I’m going to try to close my eyes and get some sleep. If I can’t fall asleep, I’ll be back.
