That’s Okay. [w/ Video]

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“That’s Okay” was my beginners meditation mantra. It got me through a lot of suffering.

I was playing around with AI generated art for videos.

1/26/24 - 11:53 PM

I recall over a decade ago, during a time of fruitful 
daily meditation practice, thinking to myself, 
“Someday you're going to stop meditating and 
all of your worries and suffering will return.”

My best and most honest answer to that thought was,
“That's okay,” and I meant it from the bottom of my heart.
There was nothing I could do about it in that moment,
and in fact, suffering is not a sin in the world of mindfulness.

It is the result of ignorance:
Ignorance of how the world really is and how it works.
Knowledge and insight set you free from this cycle,
but without steady practice, such freedom can fade 
back into the painful imprisonment of suffering.

Now, over ten years later, I can say my prediction was right.
Having fallen out of my mindfulness practice long ago,
I have blindly stumbled right back into the maze of suffering
In which ignorance binds us all at some point or another.

The calm, accepting way that I was able 
to accept my potential future failure
Now maddens me to my deepest core:
How could I have not cared that I would
Soon be cast back into anxiety and depression?

It wasn't a matter of not caring about my suffering,
It was about accepting what was available in the moment.
I also have access to that stable center even now,
if I would take the time to practice the meditations.

I took on the mantra, “That's okay,”
early in my meditation practice.
Couldn't focus well today? That's okay.
Fell asleep during breathing time? That's okay.
Regret not going to bed earlier last night? That's okay.
Worried you're going to miss that job interview? That's okay.

Because in the end, you can't change the past or future,
You can only accept what is happening now in the present.
Whatever happens during that time period? That's okay.

It helped me as a beginner not to stress about meditating “correctly.”
Acknowledging the distractions and suffering right now is enough.
That is the basis of meditation to begin with: “Observation,”
and when you spend all twenty minutes of practice time
thinking about your big vacation to Disney Land next week,
That's okay.

Because in the end, you noticed that is where your mind 
was at in the present moment of your meditation session.

“The only way to fail at meditation is not to try.”